


Donuts are serious business

by Kyarorain



Category: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-03
Updated: 2012-08-03
Packaged: 2019-07-13 23:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16028729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyarorain/pseuds/Kyarorain
Summary: Lynne is ever so good at dying in humiliating ways. After suffering yet another embarrassing death, the detective and her ghost friend seek out the truth behind this incident.





	Donuts are serious business

"It's always good to be alive again," Lynne said exuberantly, stretching her arms above her head. A wide smile spread across her face, stretching from ear to ear.

"Indeed, and yet... you always seem to act the same way, whether you're dead or alive," commented her feline companion, who happened to be possessing a nearby core. Of course, he was quite used to Lynne's nonchalance toward death by now but it still came across as fairly odd. Then again, he supposed, Lynne was just 'fairly odd' in general. "This death was pretty... well, interesting, wouldn't you say?"

"Hmm." Lynne's forehead creased. "Yes, if interesting is supposed to mean utterly ridiculous and downright embarrassing. I think I would like to forget this one ever happened."

"Sorry, can't do anything about that. Heh, that's strange though." An amused tone crept into Sissel's voice. "You aren't usually one to be getting embarrassed now, are you?" (Especially something like death...)

"Hey, there are plenty of things I can get embarrassed about. I just don't tell you about them," Lynne replied. "And, come on, getting crushed by a giant donut rolling down the road? Where did that donut even come from?"

"Who knows?" Sissel could hardly imagine what had led to such a strange incident. Had it fallen off something? "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go find out."

"Maybe I should sue them," Lynne suggested, her eyes lighting up. "If I could find a lawyer who believed the donut killed me and I was brought back to life. Can you imagine how much I would make?"

"No, I really can't." (It might help if I understood what it meant to 'sue' somebody...)

"Oh, right, sorry." Lynne laughed briefly. "Sometimes, I forget you're just a cat."

Sissel responded with complete silence. (I certainly hope I never forget again...)

"Anyway..." Lynne proceeded to give him a brief explanation before setting off along the street. "The donut was coming this way. I'm sure it couldn't have been travelling for too far." She took a notebook from her pocket. "Hop in."

Sissel attached himself to the core and allowed her to carry him as she wandered along the street. There were various signs of destruction that had been caused by the giant rampaging donut - several cars, bikes and even a skateboard had been destroyed, along with a couple of lampposts. Fortunately, there was a distinct lack of bodies for which Sissel was relieved. He could really do without the workload. Lynne kept him busy enough anyway.

"Seems like you were the only victim of that dastardly donut, Lynne."

"It does, doesn't it?" Lynne released an exasperated sigh. "Figures."

Sissel thought it odd that Lynne actually sounded a little disappointed there but decided not to comment on it. Considering what a humiliating death it had been, maybe she was just a bit unhappy to have been the only one to suffer that fate.

"They probably had the smarts to get out of the way. Unlike you, Detective."

Lynne's face flushed. "Hey, so I was distracted, okay?!" she exclaimed indignantly. "Blame the person who thought it would be a great idea to put those lovely boots in the window. I didn't have any time to get out of the way of the donut because I was so busy looking at them."

"But how could they have known... you know what, never mind."

"Ah!" Lynne came to a sudden stop. "That must be the place."

Sissel cast a glance over at a half demolished building. "It is?"

"Yeah, see that fallen sign there? It clearly says 'Donnie's Donuts'. Well, let me tell you, Donnie is going to get an earful."

"Hold on. Where do you think the donut was?"

Lynne nodded her head toward a structure of tall iron bars sitting next to the building. "I think those must have been what were supporting the donut. Whatever could have caused it to fall down, I wonder?"

The young detective made her way into the part of the building that was still standing. One lone employee was standing there looking anxious and watching some men examine the rubble.

"Excuse me?" Lynne approached the employee. "I'm a detective and I would like to ask some questions."

"Whoah, I didn't think the police were going to get involved. It was just an accident, wasn't it?"

"We'll see. Anyway, could I speak to this Donnie? He's the one in charge, right?"

"Uh..." The employee gave her an odd look. "Actually, there is no Donnie."

"Huh?!" Lynne exclaimed.

"The boss just picked that name because it sounded cool. Anyway, if you want to talk to him... you're going to have to wait." The employee glanced toward the rubble, swallowing. "That is, if he's..."

Lynne turned around. "You mean, he's in there?" The employee nodded in response.

"I'll go check it out." Sissel detached himself from the notebook and followed a path of cores until he found the blue shape of a body concealed within the rubble. "Well, well, looks like we have another death here." (If this guy here died when the donut fell... I just might be able to find out what caused its fall. I just hope I'll be able to do something... that donut was unstoppable before.) After trying several times to stop the donut from crushing Lynne unsuccessfully, he had resorted to distracting the young detective and leading her out of its path. (I wonder if it's still rolling along even now?)

The feline ghost possessed the core and entered the Ghost World. He was promptly greeted by a blue flame shape hovering before him.

"Hello?" Sissel spoke. He was greeted with silence. Almost every new spirit he met seemed to greet him with complete silence, now that he thought about it, save for a few exceptions. "Are you awake?"

"........ What is this place? For that matter, who am I?" The spirit sounded deeply confused by his predicament.

"Er, well, I don't know exactly who you are, but it would seem you're the guy in charge of some donut place."

"Donuts? Oh... oh yes, now I remember!" The blue flame faded away and in its place appeared a rotund man. His hair had been styled in a way that it had a remarkable resemblance to a donut. "Please, try one of my freshly baked donuts! People say they are the best for miles! I promise you won't be disappointed!"

It was amazing how, despite all the strange people he had met and interacted with, Sissel was still capable of finding himself lost for words. "Er... maybe later."

The man regarded him with puzzlement. "Hey, wait a minute... are you actually a cat?"

He was definitely not the first person to say something along those lines. Sissel was getting used to it by now though. "Yes, I am. Before you ask me why I'm able to talk to you, I'll just tell you it's one of the features of the Ghost World. The dead don't have voices, you see."

"Ghost... World? Huh? So we're not in my donut shop?"

"Well, we are. This is just inside your head. So, who are you anyway?"

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I? How rude of me. My name... my name... ah, yes, it's Saito. Funny, my memory doesn't seem to be working too well right now."

"Saito, huh? So do you remember what happened?" (If he does, I'm going to be really surprised.)

"... No. Not at all."

(Why did I even bother to ask?) "Well, that's no problem. I'll be going back to four minutes before your death to find out what happened, and save your life. Let's go."

Sissel rewound time to the beginning of the four minutes. He watched as Saito came into the back room and began sorting through the various boxes and bags that had been stacked around the room. By the look of things, they contained the ingredients that were used to make the donuts. In the last few moments, Saito appeared to hear a loud sound and climbed up to look out the window. It was in that instant that the donut came smashing into the building, killing him instantly.

"Wow..." The ghost Saito's mouth hung open in astonishment. "You kidding me? I was killed by a donut?"

"Yeah, you sure were. Why was that huge donut there anyway? Seems pretty dangerous."

"Hmm... oh yeah, there was that big donut on display outside the shop, wasn't there? Well, it's a donut shop, so why not? Anyway, I'm sure it couldn't have fallen that easily. Something must have happened to cause that devilish donut to fall on my head, I tell you!"

"So it seems I need to find out what caused this donut to fall." (And whatever it was, I hope I can stop it!)

Sissel returned to the beginning of the four minutes. He started jumping around cores until he reached the window and popped it open. "Oh hey, I can see the donut from here." It was still propped up on the iron supports and showed no sign of falling anytime soon. Getting over to the donut seemed like a good idea to start with. Fortunately, there were a few cores within range. He jumped into a soda can and rolled it across the ground until he reached a billboard just below the donut.

It was at that moment Sissel noticed something very strange approaching the donut. Some kind of craft floating in the air and making a loud noise like that of an engine. A large vice had been attached to the front of the odd machine.

"What in the world is that thing?!"

"It's a kind of hovercraft, I would assume... I've certainly never seen anything like it myself," Saito responded. "Whoever made it must have been some kind of mechanical genius."

(No doubt about it. That thing must have made the donut fall. I've got to get up there and fast!)

Sissel attached himself to a leaflet on the billboard. He got to work on prying loose the pin that held the leaflet in place. A gust of wind snatched the leaflet up and sent it flying toward the donut, where it flattened itself against the surface.

The top of the hovercraft slid open to reveal a man sitting inside. He threw his head back and laughed.

"Today... yes, today will be the end of Donnie's Donuts! And in its place, a new one shall be born, one that belongs to me! Saito, today, I will be winning our battle. This is the end for you and your miserable donut business! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

Sissel stared at the man in disbelief. He could not understand what the man was babbling on about. "Battle? What battle?"

"I should have known!" Saito growled. "That Donnie!"

"Wait, what? There IS a Donnie?"

"The name of my store has nothing to do with this man. Five months after I set up Donnie's Donuts, this man here turns up telling me that he wants to run his own donut store and, his name being Donnie, he thought he had a right to the name 'Donnie's Donuts'. I wasn't going to let him take the name of my donut place and so I told him where he could go. He's been pestering me for months, trying to get me to change the name but I wasn't having any of that!"

"This... all this over the name of your shop? Really?! At least two people died because of some ridiculous feud over donuts?"

"Hey, don't blame me. I didn't tell him to go wreck my shop. So... I gather that Donnie plans to push the donut off the supports. When that happens, well, you know..."

"It will land on the shop and go rolling away, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake." (This guy's completely nuts.)

"You could say... he's do-nuts!"

"........" Sissel chose to ignore the fellow spirit's atrocious pun and hopped over to a core on the hovercraft. "Okay, I don't really have any idea what I'm doing here. I just know I have to stop him from pushing that donut off somehow."

There were plenty of cores scattered around and it looked like there was no shortage of things for him to manipulate. This could be pretty dangerous, he knew that, but he had to find a way to prevent Donnie from pushing that donut off. (Oh well... if I mess up, I can always start over. Let's give this a whirl!)

Moments later, Sissel was staring in chagrin at the smoking wreckage of the hovercraft... buried deep in Donnie's Donuts. He didn't need to look to know Saito wouldn't have survived that. In fact, he might even have killed that poor employee too.

"Oops," was all the feline ghost managed to say.

"Well, you've helped him bring about the end of my 'miserable donut business' alright."

"Give me a break. I'm a cat." (I've got to work on changing the way this thing moves. If I can just get it to land somewhere safe...)

The next time was somewhat more successful. Admittedly, he did end up crashing it into a few vehicles but he made sure that nobody was inside of them. In a place like this, it was just too difficult to find somewhere to land it safely. There were too many people, buildings and cars around.

"So, what do you think?" Sissel asked, gazing over the smoking wreckage. The air was filled with the sound of shrill alarms and people were running to the scene with shocked expressions. "Admittedly, I would rather have pulled it off without any damage but..."

"Ah, don't worry about it. The lives of people are more important than a few cars, and at least it means my donut business is safe now. That's not so bad."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." (Besides, that donut probably caused more destruction by itself.) "Well, it looks like I've managed to save you. Hopefully your donut business won't run into any more trouble."

"I hope so too. Hey, be sure to drop in a good word about my donuts to any people you know. I might even drop in a discount for them."

"Uh, right, thanks." (Guess I'll let Lynne know... she'll appreciate that.)

Sissel returned to the present and left through the phone line, heading back home. A few hours later, Lynne turned up as he had been expecting.

"There you are, Sissel!" Lynne scooped him up, beaming. "I was wondering where you had got to."

"Well, sometimes I never know where you're going to be after I change time so..."

"True. So... I heard about this accident earlier, it caused quite a fuss. Apparently, a flying machine crashed and destroyed some property. Strangely enough, it happened near a certain donut shop. Know anything about that?"

"Er... well, maybe. Crowded place, you know. It's hard to land things there."

Lynne let out an exasperated sigh, though she was smiling. "That was kind of overkill though, wasn't it? I heard one of the cars was a really expensive sports car."

"Sports car?"

"Never mind. But, wow, the guy they pulled from the wreckage is going to be paying fines for a long time. No doubt he'll be going to prison too." Lynne's brow creased. "Hey, did he have something to do with the donut?"

"Sure did. Pushed it right off. Some kind of weird donut related rivalry going on. Speaking of donuts, the manager said he'd be willing to sell discounted donuts to my friends."

"Really?" Lynne's face lit up. "Well, that's good. I just spent a lot of money on those new boots after all."

"Oh, boy..."


End file.
